Yesterday, Mr. Joey Coleman, a blogger for globecampus.ca posed the question “Why are athletics a priority in this fiscal reality?”

The obvious answer in this instance is a hasty and passionate, “Why not?”

While it is not possible for all students to participate in varsity athletics, it is abundantly clear that those who do have an enriched university experience, contribute to the university’s reputation and in turn, increase the value of an undergraduate degree for their fellow students. (Of course, varsity athletics is not the only method of achieving this.)

After sifting through the blog post, including a string of incomplete, untrue and often bizarre arguments and statements, it seems that Mr. Coleman has presented the thesis that universities are prioritizing athletic funding, charging students unfair fees to support that funding and that Canadian varsity team members are more like professionals, than dedicated student-athletes.

The best way to respond to this mayhem, is through a commentary on verbatim. Here is goes.

Mr. Coleman wrote:

“Canada’s collegiate athletics have increasingly professionalized in recent times with money, and now drugs, raising questions about how the system operates and what effect it may have on the academy.”

Prove it. Professionalized is hardly the word you might use to describe CIS athletes, who in most cases receive partial tuition support. (Which he actually calculates for us later in the post) And drugs? Well, no follow up premise is provided. What kind of drugs? Are universities giving athletes drugs? I’m confused.

Looks like Joey is confused as well because there is however a self-rebuttal in the third paragraph, “The two are completely unrelated.” (In reference to professionalized varsity sports, and drugs.) Thanks Joey, that is exactly what we were thinking.

Mr. Coleman wrote:

“Sport is no longer an addition to the university experience, in which players play merely for the enjoyment of the sport. They are playing to win and universities are spending record amounts of money to ensure a CIS title for their school.”

Wow, this is just plain bizarre. Varsity athletics has always been a competitive arena, not sure if I remember the time when our teams just played for fun. Oh right, that’s because there never was a time. I am at a loss here folks, not sure what else I can say. Perhaps someone else can help me determine why, “playing to win” is a bad thing.

Mr. Coleman wrote:

…a jumble of words that basically add up to Mr. Coleman opposing a fee for University of Toronto Scarborough students, in order to build the Pan-Am Games complex for the 2015 Games.

What he misses, which is dreadfully clear to everyone else, is that the complex actually benefits students, because they will get to use it as well. Even students who will graduate before completion are aware that legacy funding is a reality at all institutions. Student-use buildings across any campus exist thanks to fees and funding from those who may not have been around long enough to enjoy them.

Mr. Coleman wrote:

“With fiscal reality returning to higher education, now is the time for a serious discussion of the role of university athletics in the Canadian academy.”

This sentence doesn’t make sense, but what I think he means is “university athletics is bad and it gets too much funding for what it accomplishes.” But don’t worry, Joey backs up his statement by quoting an American physicist commenting on American collegiate athletics.

Ok I am tired of pointing out how ridiculous this post is. Can someone please tell me what the “Canadian academy” is?

So let’s talk about “university education”. It depends what it means to you. If university education is solely the classroom, the assignments, the textbooks and the professors, then perhaps you need to broaden your definition. This entire blog post is debunked by a misunderstanding of the university experience which also includes friends, residence, activities, clubs, varsity sports and so on

There are other wonderful examples of on-campus initiatives, groups and programs that allow students to experience the same growth and personal development as varsity athletics, like…(check this out Joey, I’m going to give examples), academic clubs, faculty specific teams, campus recreational sport. If you wanted to go dollar for dollar on how much grant money and scholarship funding these other programs receive compared to varsity sport, I’d be happy to oblige.

But to be honest, let’s just leave it at that.

Every profession, job, trade, industry…every “thing” that you do has its own culture and flavor, its own set of features that allow the participants to be differentiated from members of other groups. In most cases, these features are so utterly unrelated to the actual performance of the “thing” that it’s pretty ridiculous. Sometimes even comical.

These features can be physical traits, a type of clothing, a way of speaking, even the music that plays. Either way, these various artifacts are closely linked to the image of the participants that they begin to form secondary levels of the base identity, the base identity that is constructed on the actual execution of the “thing”.

I think I am in danger of being vague so let me provide some examples.

My brother and I were ranting recently about half pipe snowboarding at the Olympics, how the guys rip down the pipe with their pants around their knees, and rocking out to an iPod. I mean, What!? They are pulling some crazy stuff, (see: Shaun White), wouldn’t you want some snug pantaloons?

Shaun White!

Painters wear white. Why? No one knows. Trust me. I googled it. That’s good enough research for anything Look at the mania is this thread. They just do, they always have. It doesn’t really make sense, but it’s ingrained in the culture.

What about those MMA guys. You know. In the UFC? Most of them have some mad tattoos. Based on my extensive boxing experience, (one hour last Friday morning), I know that it’s really hard to see and throw punches when you have sweat in your eyes. You know what would make it easier? A big ass orange tiger on some guy’s back. Just sayin’.

Alright, I could give you some more examples but to be honest, there is hockey on TV. Comment below with your best example of useless cultural features…

Tonight I say "Luuuuuuuu" with the rest of you.

Tonight Canada’s hopes and dreams rest on the shoulders of a small group of guys named everything from Iggy to Lu to The Kid. Make no mistake, even as a lifelong supporter of amateur athletes, I understand that when it all boils away, the only thing that is left is hockey.

And I’m okay with that.

Do you know why? Because we EXPECT to win the Hockey Gold Medal. Both Men’s and Women’s. We believe we can win, we show up to win and we are heartbroken if we do not.

A few days ago the first reports started surfacing that the Canadian team would surely fall short of their medal target, and undoubtedly finish below first place in the overall standings. The truth of the matter is: the Americans are killing us, so are the Germans, not to mention Norway and Russia, with Korea nipping at everyone’s heels.

I saw a number of “on the street” interviews, y’know, those deadline driven clips where the reporter basically stops anyone who looks like they can form a sentence and asks them a question way over their head.

One lady had this to say, “Oh, you know, it’s just nice to see Canadians at the Games, having fun. No matter what the medal tally, we’re still proud of them.”

WHAT?! I dare say that this is part of the problem. Canadian complacency. It is our inability to stand up on the world stage and fight for the top of the podium. Or at least have the attitude that when we show up at any competition, of any type, we are there to win. Expecting to be the best.

Too long we have questioned if we’re good enough, if we should even be so presumptuous as to be anything more than just “proud of our athletes”. Yes we ARE good enough. A lackluster medal tally should highlight the fact that the only thing missing is a little tooth and nail.

So tonight, when we drop the puck with the “dreaded” Russians, who have only ok defence, no more fire power on the front end, and a way less competent goaltender, remember the feeling of being unafraid and confident. And do everything else in your life that way because being Canadian isn’t just about being polite and gracious, it’s about kicking ass too.